#workinprogress Wednesday

Here's a peek at a few pages from my messy mini notebooks. I like to sketch out ideas before painting, but also just take visual notes on anything that inspires me.

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How I'm Dealing With My First Internet Hater

I'd like to share a story..

In 2015 I jumped on the Periscope train and started doing live videos via the app. One day, I had the spontaneous idea to do a video of a painting in progress.

People were popping in and out of the Scope. It was fun! We chatted about art school, what life in New Zealand is like, the kind of paint I was using… all nice things.

Then a man asked: "Are you five years old?"

I wasn’t sure if he meant it in a rude way, so I laughed it off and kept painting. Then he came back at me.

"My six-year-old daughter paints better than this."

Gah. My heart sunk. I blocked him. Others on the Scope were super supportive and kind. "Don't listen to him!" "Keep doing your thing!" But I'll admit — after I signed off, I cried.

And then I called a friend. And then I laughed. And then I got really mad. And then I decided to use this low point to my advantage.

[[Side note: I've been painting for a while, but I’m still not making stuff I really like. Can you relate? It's normal (you can breathe!!). I once attended an abstract artist's exhibition opening, whose work I LOVE. The artist and I were having a conversation about her process and I eventually mentioned my distress about not liking my own work. She swirled her wine, took a quick sip, and laughed: "That's not always how it works."]]

Regardless, I love to share. And I know it opens the door for constructive critique AND pure, meaningless negativity. But it can still really sting.

So I say, instead of just ignoring the haters, go a step further:

Exploit the hater. Use their negativity as fuel. How can you GAIN from it and use it for a positive cause?

For me, it gave me today's newsletter. And my first official art print. Yes..

'Prickly Periscope Man' is officially for sale as a limited-run postcard pack of three! Packages will be sent out in December. I'm selling 'em for $12. Grab a pack here!

I’m not doing this because it’s a piece I particularly love or am proud of, but as a symbol for empowerment and rising above negativity that can come from the web.

If you've been here too, know you’re not alone. It happens to almost anyone who has the guts to put themselves out there and not just hide behind a screen.

Keep doing you and making and sharing and making more. Screw the haters. Use their negativity for your own beautifully expanding creative empire. YOU GOT THIS!!!

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A Peek Into My Creative Tool Travel Kit

No matter where you're headed — overseas or just to the grocery store — never leave without a few creative tools in your bag. The ones I carry everywhere are a mini notebook + drawing utensils.

mini Moleskine notebook | Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert | Joby tripod | Bose headphones

What's in your creative tool travel kit?

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Email me amanda@amandasandlin.com or say hi on Instagram and Snapchat @amandasandlin.

Be on the lookout for spontaneous whimsy.

I recently asked my newsletter subscribers what their biggest challenges are around creativity. Overwhelmingly, responses went something like this:

• "I don't have ideas."
• "I don't know what to make."
• "I don't know where to start."
• "I struggle to find inspiration."
• This makes me think of a few things.

James Victore recently said something pertinent in one of his AWESOME weekly Burning Questions videos. [I'm paraphrasing this]:

The way to become a better designer is to study anything but design.

I think this applies to anyone who wants to be creative in any way. And what I think he meant by this is... art is an expression. Art is inspired by something other than art (usually). It's inspired by real life.

So you have to go out there and live. Live a wild and colorful and diverse life. The best thing you can do for your creativity and inspiration is to fully experience this season of your life.

Fall in love. Get mad. See new places. Try new things. Be scared. Go anyway.

And here is where I'm going to inject my own idea about something I like to call 'spontaneous whimsy'.

While you're out there living life and doing things and making stuff you'll have the opportunity to pursue spontaneous whimsy.

Here's an example of how spontaneous whimsy once called on me.

While I was checking out at the grocery store I noticed this massive, beautiful, stunning flower making eyes at me across the way. This may sound strange, but it spoke to me. 

I went back and forth in my mind for a couple minutes... I don't need to spend $9 on a flower. Oh, but then I'll hold up the line for a minute while I walk over there to grab it. I don't need it. Nah. Next time, maybe.

You know that feeling when something so seemingly random tugs at you for a quick minute? Maybe what keeps you from saying yes is that it makes you feel uncomfortable, or it'll be too much effort, or you just want to get back to work.

Here are a few signs that it's spontaneous whimsy:

1. You start smiling just thinking about it.
2. Your heart flutters and you get lost in the idea for a moment.
3. You picture yourself telling the story of what happened later.
4. Thinking about walking away from it feels flat and disappointing.

You may want to turn down a random street. Go into a coffee shop. Talk to a stranger. Give a huge tip. Fly across the country to surprise a friend. Say yes to something that absolutely terrifies you. 

You have to follow these little moments of spontaneous whimsy. They lead to inspiration.

I followed my spontaneous whimsy yesterday, and it led me to sitting down and creating some new artwork. It made me feel so happy and amazing and reminded me of how sweet and important it is to follow those little nudges.

When something is tugging at your heart, go after it. Go do it. It's better to take a risk than to live every day as expected, bored, and uninspired. 

So go out there, live in real life, step out of your mind and into the world, and say yes to whatever spontaneous whimsy is calling your name right now.

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What spontaneous whimsy is tugging at you today? I'd love to hear from you. Comment to share, or email me your thoughts at amanda@amandasandlin.com.

Balance is NOT a myth.

I’m calling BS on the kinda trendy saying that “Balance is a myth”.

I get the idea — balance? *Yawn*. Try PASSION. Be all in when you’re in, and all out when you’re out.

I love passion. I love going all in, but..

I think clinging to the notion that ‘balance it’s a myth’ is a good excuse to be a workaholic and/or hermit. 

I know this because I used it as my default mindset when I’d be working 60-hour weeks and wasn’t ‘allowed’ to escape for weekends in the mountains with my friends.

I think balance is totally attainable, healthy, and an admirable pursuit. It may not look like 6 hours of work + 1 hour of exercise + 3 wholesome meals a day, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t prioritize the modernized version of it.

The danger in writing balance off as a myth is that you forget to prioritize it.

You have to MAKE balance happen sometimes.

When you find something you really love.. that you can eat, sleep, and breathe, you almost never want to take a break from it.

But you must! Because.. life!

Prioritizing balance might mean…

• turning on an autoresponder and escaping for a week
• clocking out early to savor summertime for one more evening
• turning off your damn phone!
• asking yourself if you even really want to grow your business
• choosing must and going all in on your dreams
• reading…. fiction

How I operate in balance

I live fully in each season and mood. When I’m feeling the flow, I go all in. But to me, balance = sanity. I literally need to block out time to NOT think about my business. Just because I’m an entrepreneur doesn’t mean I want to be in biz creation mode all the time.

Many have written about the idea that ‘work-life’ balance assumes that work and life are separate. Well, yah. They are. 

And some have even gone so far as to say that if you view them as such, you’re ‘probably not cut out for entrepreneurship’.

Bull shit.

I think about my business a looooooot. About what I’m going to write next week. How to add more value to the course I’m launching next month. What to make my next vlog about. How to use social media in a more fun and creative way.

But I can’t get over THIS idea :: I am more than all of that. We all are more than our work. Life is more than our ideas, more than our contributions, more than our stuff, more than the money.

Your work is you, but you are so much more. [tweet]

Know this about your worth. Then make your art. [Plus a free creative exercise for you!]

Your worth does not depend on their opinion.

I love to sit down for morning pages and take inventory of my emotions.

FEELING:

1. Hesitant

2. Blocked

3. Uncomfortable

4. Yearning

During this specific writing sesh, I went on and filled up the page with notes from a dream last night, the day's goals and intentions, and the current weather (rainy, cold, and windy, in case you were wondering).

I needed a mental shift to start the day, so I started drawing tiny little love notes and affirmations in every single blank space on the page until I got to this one. "Your worth does not depend on their opinion."

I had to take it to the drawing board.

So I drew it in oil pastel and marker and scribbled it on a small pad and in a big A4 sketchbook. The message was inside of me and I couldn't get it out the way I wanted to. 

I slammed my fists on the desk and cursed and even began to cry.

I finally realized that I needed to stand up and make it big. I filmed the process and finally felt the RELIEF of having expressed it. ..then I was moved back to the drawing board to cover the whole thing up.

And like that, it's gone. But the thing is, it's really not.

Worth does not depend on opinion. [tweet]

It also does not depend on:

your work
your art
your life
your income
their support
their opinion
their vote
their follow

Know this. Learn this. Believe this. Remember this. Then make your art. 

Whatever you do or do not does not change the fact that you are worthy.

Your worth is because you are. [tweet]

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Creative Exercise!

Go make something right now. Could be as simple as a bunch of hearts on a napkin. When you think you're done, turn it on its head. Paint over it. Tear it up. Take it outside and stomp on it. Throw food at it. Hang it out in the rain. Draw lipstick circles all over it. 

Look at it again and do whatever you want with it. Hang it up on your bedroom wall or post it on the library bulletin board or burn it in the fireplace.

And while you do that remember that it doesn't mean anything about you. You could've never even made it in the first place and still have been just as worthy as you are now.

How To Recover From A Mini Business Meltdown

How to recover from a mini business meltdown:

1. Get in motion. Buy a plane or train ticket anywhere.

2. Surround yourself with people who've been through the fire and can give excellent advice.

3. If you can, give yourself a few days to only do what you really want to do. Go get amazing street food and explore museums. Go dancing with friends. Put your toes in the sand.

4. Don't force anything. Wait for it. It'll happen.

5. Sleep lots and return to your creative cave gently and joyfully.

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When you're in the middle of a breakdown the last thing you want to hear is that there's a purpose for it.

A few meltdowns ago I got the kindest email from a reader. She told me about a book (which book, I am not sure — I'll get back to you on that!) on a similar topic, and what she shared struck me so deeply that I want to share it with you.

"This phase of low tide is there [for] a certain purpose. For example, to make you come up with new ideas, to get some rest, to think about certain decisions or to change your direction."

Some of us at #CreativeVacay! Photo by Eyes of Love Photography

I've never thought about it like that. I simply acknowledged that the "bad" stuff happens so we appreciate the "good". But this notion of the valleys giving us space to change direction or come up with new ideas... I can totally dig that.

In the summer of 2015 I boarded a plane to Brisbane, Australia, where I met up in Byron Bay with an incredible group of creative badass boss ladies for #CreativeVacay.

The trip, which happened in the middle of this funk, gave me a lot of space to fully enjoy the experience and perhaps discover a new direction for my business. A week before that trip, I never saw it coming.

I left Brisbane with a bunch of ideas and a few strong messages and new ideas on creativity and business. So let yourself ebb and flow, but when it comes time, get out there and jump back in.

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What's your recovery strategy for when you're really down and out? Let me know by emailing me at amanda@amandasandlin.com.

Confession: I am afraid my business is going to tank.

“Adventures don’t begin until you get into the forest. That first step in an act of faith. ”

— Mickey Hart

Fern sketches from an oxygenated afternoon in The Wellington Botanic Garden.

After a year of reading, doing morning pages, and recovering my creative self, I finally finished The Artist's Way. It's the most influential book on creativity I've ever read.

I love that the book closes with an exercise of listing any current resistance or fear. It's pretty clear that all that stuff will never fully go away.

But at this certain point in my business I am especially fearful. Some things are changing, some things are stalling, and I am worried that I won't be able to survive (not literally, but my business... art.. creativity.. you know).

Here are 3 fears I listed in the exercise ::

1. I am scared that I'll be "found out". I'm afraid I look like a fool, like I have no idea what I'm doing. Last night I had a dream that I submitted my artwork to a gallery and the curator said something like it was "defunct." I'm not sure what the word was exactly, but it basically meant... I had no idea what I was doing, and my art was super basic and not good enough, and I was a fraud.

2. I am afraid my business is going to tank. I'll admit it, I've hit a slow patch before in my business, and I'm continually nervous I'm going to burn through my savings. Funny because, I've saved up money for this very reason, but I still just want to have the cushion always. Freelance business ebbs and flows, and that's so much easier to accept when you're in full-out flow mode.

3. I am afraid my "luck" is drying up. There is this little, potent voice saying that everything that's kept me in business up until this point was a big joke, and things will soon go back to "normal" and my freelance success has been a fluke.

I know these things aren't true. But the fear is there.

Julia from The Artist's Way recommends writing down your fears and putting them in a box or jar that you call the "God jar" (or whatever terminology works for you). You name your fear, and then you give it over to God (or the Universe, or whatever). And let it go.

And then what?

Focus on what you reallyreally trulytruly want.

Because hope and vision and excitement are greater than all fear put together times 193812031.

Each of us has an inner dream that will pull us through all the scary stuff if we can be brave enough to admit it to ourselves.

And remember, you're in it. This is IT! This is life! This is what it's all about — being uncomfortable, trying new things, "failing", LIVING.

Like Mickey says, the adventure begins once you get into the forest. Friends, this is the forest. 

This is the adventure. You're in it.

And you've made it so much farther than most ever do. Keep going.

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What's on your mind? Feel free to reach me directly at amanda@amandasandlin.com.

You are human. So be human.

Before I started The Year of Making in January of 2015, I was working full-time for someone else, not creating from my heart, and didn't really see myself as an artist.

Shortly after starting there was a MASSIVE shift. I began to view myself as a creator. I started to uncover my voice. I began making art.

And with all this good stuff comes a whooooole lot of (self-imposed, not real, but so real feeling)... pressure.

I'm a perfectionist. (Maybe some of you can relate.) So when I started making, I wanted it to be JUST SO. I've put so much pressure on myself to be super creative and productive and have really healthy habits and support myself and push boundaries and keep making making making.

It's like knowing that I'm capable of greatness (we all are) is debilitating. It's easy to forget that.. I'm human. Not a creative robot.

I was chatting with my friend Alexa about how I keep drinking wine and watching mindless TV shows instead of making more art, reading, being productive, etc.

And to that, she simply responded, "That's being a human, Amanda."

IT IS! That's being human! *Sigh of relief.* And that leads to a few more thoughts...

"Mastery is boring".

OH HECK YEAH IT IS. Wise words from author Elizabeth Gilbert. If everything we ever created was "perfect" and wonderful and made us super rich and famous and there was no fight.. journey.. trials.. uncovering.. to get there, what would the point be? Art is a path OF discovery. Not a path TO discovery. The trip is the whole point. Every moment,not just the end result, is special and sacred.

You are human. So be human.

Some days you'll want to spend hours on the floor laying out and pouring magic into a new creation. Some days you'll want to make a yogurt and honey face mask and watch Bachelor in Paradise. You are a full human, capable of a full, vibrant, wide-range life.Let yourself feel no shame in any of it.

And that is that. You know what's good for you. You know what you need right now. Make space for yourself to breathe. Let yourself live this human life.

*Drops the mic*

Notes From My First Art Class EVER

In 2015 I took my first drawing + sketching class at a local high school when I was living in Wellington, New Zealand. Here are a handful of the most impactful lessons I learned ::

1. Make it BIG. Bigger = easier! Many of these points have a theme :: Relinquish control + fear. I never bought a really BIG sketchbook until it was required for yesterday's workshop. I always made these tiny drawings in tiny notebooks that now feel like creative suffocation. (See below for my BIG pinecone!)

Give yourself room to breathe.

Don't constrict your workspace. Let your creative environment and practices be really organic and spacious and alive.

2. Put your whole arm into it. I loved this tip and think it applies to drawing and life. When you're going for something, GO FOR IT. Half-assing is for suckers.

Be purposeful. When you're putting your pencil on paper, or whatever your creative medium may be, give it your all. Use those muscles. Go BIG.

3. Let go. Release. Loosen your grip. Fellow control freaks, listen here. This was probably the biggest lesson I took away.

Hold the pencil looser. Be fluid. Sway with the breeze. Nothing has to be permanent. Make and make and make again.

Let whatever comes out of you be. Let it flow. Make mistakes and keep moving.

4. Being an artist = being able to see. You never really see an object until you have to depict it through your art, whether that's capturing it on film, describing it in words, or drawing it on paper.

Artists are aware and see what is commonly overlooked.

You probably stop and stare at objects, people, and situations that everyone else just walks by without second glance. You're highly sensitive and can feel the tension or joy or love in a room and close your eyes to burn the feeling into your memory. You're deeply sensing, highly aware, and relentlessly curious.

5. You cannot shade too dark! Keep going. When you think something is perfect, give it a rest, but come back later. Don't be afraid to really make your mark. Push through to that next level.

Don't sell yourself short. You cannot be too much of you. Show the world what you've really got. And darling, don't let anyone evereverever water you down.

The last quote came from Danielle Krysa (The Jealous Curator) on a podcast interview with artist Lisa Golightly.

These two awesome ladies were talking about the general mindset in most art schools, which is all about experimentation and "trying and trying and trying and failing and throwing it on the floor and flipping it over and trying it again and not being so precious about that final piece." 

Go make something new today. 
Make it BIG. 
Put your whole arm into it.
Loosen your grip.
Let it be totally you.
Try and try and try again.

You should go away.

Every now and then, I love to just go away.

Completely, away.

It looks something like this :: No cell phone service. No wifi. Vacation auto responder ON. Early to bed and early to rise. Paddle boarding on an alpine lake. Hiking up and over ridges and scrambling on rocks. Crosswords and coffee. Mornings with the windows open. Juicy peaches. S'mores and a campfire. And lots and lots and lots of laughter.

You can't be in creation mode all the time.

In 2015 I started The Year of Making with the intent to make one piece of art every day and share it with the world. I can still aim to be creative daily AND go silent. You've gotta ebb so you can flow. Don't be afraid to stop creating for a while and simply rest!

You can live every day like you're on vacation [kinda].

I yearn to hold onto the clarity and peace that comes from unplugging and living days slower and more meaningfully. I've only been back a few days and have already slipped into old habits of being on my phone too much, skipping meals, procrastination, watching Netflix instead of reading, and staying inside all day. Simple and slow pleasures can be enjoyed every day!

Take more vacations.

I try to plan one 'trip' every month. It can be something as simple as jumping on a train and staying in a hostel for a night. Just get out of town, see something new, and go away for more than a day.

Ask yourself :: How do you want to spend your money?

In 2014 I lived in San Francisco and spent most of my income on rent. It's an amazing city, but a city is just a city. If you've got wanderlust and find inspiration for work and life from traveling, why not live in a more affordable place you can still enjoy and put all that money into experiences?

Less technology, more hugs. Less screens, more skies. Less work, more play. Less calls, more hikes. Less emails, more books.

Now, is it about time you go away?

An Excerpt From EXPERIMENT (My Ebook!)

In 2015 I launched my first ebook. *Hooray!*

It's all about the gradual changes I made and little steps I took to transition to full-time freelance and self-employment. 

In the beginning, the advice I heard from well-meaning entrepreneurs was stuff like, "You need to be so insanely passionate and totally love and believe in what you do, because soon your entire life will be devoted to it."

I didn't buy that theory, and instead took a slightly less dramatic approach. I believe it's all an experiment — life, business, everything — and that is how I looked at entrepreneurship.

Truth is, you don't need to have all the answers. You won't be without doubt. You will change your mind. You can start from someplace small and perhaps even "wrong." Because you've just gotta start.

And that's what my book is all about! How to start, where to start, little steps you can take to yield big results down the road.

Everyone's experience will be different, but I want to share how I did it. I believe anyone can, and hope my writings will help give you the tools to test the waters on your own terms.

Here's a short but super important exerpt from Chapter 1...

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Know & love yourself.

When you jump into full-time self-employment, you are your biggest asset and best friend. Knowing yourself — what you enjoy, what lights you up, what calms you down — is crucial to being successful and happy as an entrepreneur, and a human.

And, of course, loving yourself makes the whole thing a lot easier. I couldn’t imagine entering and enduring entrepreneurship without genuinely caring for and being gentle with myself.

Start looking inward. Keep a journal. Mend your relationships. Hire a coach. Attend conferences. Read lots. Go to a shrink. Create stuff. Spend time by yourself. Meditate. Think. Go on retreats. Cook. Go for hikes.

Self-awareness and self-love are two of the most important qualities of a solo entrepreneur.

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Curious to learn more? Check out the ebook and get it in your sweet lil' hands right here!