The Dealio With Losing Followers/Friends

Honesty is my policy. So here goes.

In the past I've totally paid attention to my follower count (still do that) and who follows/unfollows me (don't do that anymore), mainly on Instagram and email.

I'm not proud and not ashamed. It just is what it is.  

That being said, it feels crappy, and I reallyreally want to break free from this junky and unhealthy habit. Some days I want to totally scrap all my social media accounts, but I know this probably wouldn't be good for business and I'd rather deal with reality than run from it.

My ego's truth :: I'm a people pleaser. And a perfectionist. An unfollow = rejection. A kick right in the heart-gut. YOU DON'T LIKE ME??? YOU HATE ME? YOU THINK I'M STUPID??

The real truth :: I just want to be loved.

And another truth, I am, and so are you. This is why it's so important to love yourself and make real friends and nurture real relationships. You need a rock-solid love foundation to not go completely insane in this crazy mixed up upside down online world we live in.

I don't know about you, but I'm so damn tired of the numbers game. I'm making a living for myself. I'm doing what I love. I'm healthy and happy. What else is there?

A few thoughts on Internet friends/followers/numbers::

1. Shift the energy from you, to them. I have to re-center regularly. My purpose is not to be cool and awesome looking and make everyone envious, but to be helpful, positive, uplifting, and real. To give back and get to know people and make new friends and share real life.

2. Never check who unfollows you. Ever. That's feeding the beast.

3. When someone you know, have had conversations with, have a relationship with... unfollows you :: You've heard it a million times, but it's not you, it's them. This is the toughest kind of 'rejection' to swallow. Don't take it personally. Move on. Nothing they are doing is because of you.

4. Random idea :: Someone needs to create a numbers-less social media platform for sharing.

5. Engage. Really care. Social media gives us an opportunity to directly reach others. Say hi! Be kind. Not in hopes that they'll follow you back, but simply to be human. Compliment other people. Share their work. It feels good!

6. Give people an out. That's what I want to do for you right now. No strings attached. I'm not going to look at who unsubscribes or unfollows after this. Want more space in your inbox? Do it.

7. Gaining followers + friends will always feel good. Who doesn't like to be liked? And that's okay. I guess it's more about not allowing these situations (or your emotions) to control you. But rather, allowing them to come and go without real meaning.

8. Face it. Recognize it. Talk about it. And it loses its power.

When You Feel All Over The Place

Feeling confused and lost and all over the place with your making, like you're just throwing spaghetti at the wall and nothing is sticking?

This video is for you.

What if you made the rules?

I love climbing, especially bouldering. 

I learned to climb in San Francisco, where there are lots of outdoor areas, and a sweet gym just for bouldering. It's massive, and the people who create the climbs (which are called "problems") do such a great job. Every time you visit the gym they've set a whole bunch of new problems to play on. You never get bored.

Then I moved to Wellington. Wellington doesn't have a huge climbing scene.

Most of the outdoor climbing in New Zealand is couple hours' drive north or a boat south of us. There are a couple smaller gyms in the area, but the bouldering sections are pretty minimal.

There is a bouldering wall on campus at Victoria University, and Gabe and I sometimes climb there. However, there are no problems set. There are a bunch of holds on the wall, and you basically have to make up your own problems.

At first, this was a let down and super frustrating. I'd never had to create my own problems before. (HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME SET MY OWN PROBLEMS! CURSES!)

But after a couple months climbing in this "free for all" fashion, something incredible is happening. I've gotten over the disappointment/frustration, and have reached a new level of creativity and happiness in climbing.

All the rules were taken away, and I was left to make my own.

When I talked to other local climbers about what I perceived as "lack," they'd just give a little laugh and shrug, and go back to using their imaginations.

Staring blankly at a wall full of holds, I'd start creating my own problem and then ask someone, "Is this right? Does this make sense?" And they'd say, "It's right if you want it to be!" This was confusing, and then mind blowing.

With nothing to go off of but my imagination, and nothing to compare what I created to except my experience, I found a new level of creative freedom.

And I can't help but wonder, what if we approached other creativity and art in the same way?

What if you rejected to follow the same path others have taken, and created your path purely based on your own intuition and imagination?

What if instead of seeking approval from outside sources, you made choices from your gut?

What would your creative life look like if you didn't follow any "rules?" 

What would you draw, or write, or sing, if you didn't focus so much on what's popular or well-received at the moment?

Think outside the square.
Do what you like.
Don't take it too seriously.
Write your own rules.
Turn 'lack' into opportunity.
Pave a new path.

The Moments You Say "Let's DO THIS."

This is your life. Your one life. (That you know about.) This is it, right now. Right this second. Isn’t that something? 

What will you do with your next second? Minute? Week? Year?

What will matter most in 40 years? I have a hunch it won’t be the clients, or the fame, or the money, or the business, or even the great inventions and ideas.

It will be your stories. How much you loved. What you gave. The moments you said, “Let’s DO THIS,” as you ran into the tide, or got McDonald’s drive-thru at 2 a.m. and laughed so hard with your best friend and it was SO good, or fell into a sea of love. All the littlest pleasures that you allowed yourself to delicately soak in every moment of instead of checking emails or getting “shit done” that doesn’t really matter much to you anyway.

Less thinking. More living.
Less work. More play.
Less worrying. More smiling.
Less plans. More action.
Less wishing. More doing.

Let it be so easy. Let it be spontaneous. Let it be whimsical.

Let it be pure light.

Monday Mornings

One of my favorite new morning rituals is to drink coffee and read in bed. It feels so luxe. Why does reading have to be saved for the evening? Oh, it's one of the best ways to wake up.

The Paradox All Entrepreneurs Face

I think the happy place for any creative entrepreneur is balancing the two worlds of the present and the dream.

Maybe you can relate.

Some days I wake up and love everything about what I am doing. I realize the amazing opportunity I have to work with real PEOPLE and use my skills to help them achieve their dreams. With every client, I can push artistic and creative limits, and give the folks I work with the absolute best experience possible. I am honored to help them express who they are and what they believe.

Then some days, I wake up and yearn for more. I think, "Okay, I want more. I need more. I want to sell my art and write books and change the creative landscape. I want to be in art galleries and speak all over the world."

And I am slowly, quite pleasantly, realizing.. 

It's possible (and healthy) for the feelings to co-exist.

In fact, feeling both fully and allowing them to work together instead of choosing one over the other and forcing them to butt heads — it makes for a super happy creative entrepreneur.

T H E / P R E S E N T : Be where you are now. You have started. Freaking celebrate that. You are in the trenches. Most end before they even begin — tragic. But you are somewhere, you are here. Know that it doesn't have to be this way forever, but it is this way now, and that means there is something for you to learn.

T H E / D R E A M : Don't get comfortable. Find your edge and live at it. Always be searching, awake and ready for fire. Set goals and dream big vivid dreams that scare and thrill you. Push yourself. Feel pulled. Don't be afraid to say you want more. Wake up and work to get there every. single. day.

But don't resent your present. Don't waste your time on such a pointless emotion. Find that really fired up, dynamic place of being content and happy in the now AND wanting more for your future.

Be here, but keep dreamin' BIG.

The Meaning Of Life (To Me)

I've always been a big thinker. I often get lost in a mental mission to discover both the meaning of life in general, and the purpose of my life individually. And that can be a pretty daunting and sometimes sobering question to wrestle.

But you guys, I did it. I finally discovered the meaning of life! This is IT. (To me.)

Life is to be experienced, and experimented with.

Okay, so maybe it's not the ultimate purpose of humanity as a whole, but right now, for me... you know what? It's good enough. And sometimes you just gotta roll with good enough, folks.

So for now, I'll say this: Keep exploring. Keep trying and testing. Do ridiculous-sounding things. Astound yourself. Question your sanity. Keep pushing. 

I like to regularly ask myself, 'What is the most outrageous thing I can try today?'

Sometimes it'll be a dynamic, grand, romantic idea that'll change everything. Sometimes it'll be, 'Eat that entire carton of ice cream in bed and neglect all my work.' Do it. Do it for the sake of experimentation. Do it because you want to. And then the next day, do something else. 

Society will never progress or change unless there are individuals willing to try something different, think bigger than the usual, and risk falling on our faces.

What's the point of all this if we're not moving, changing, trying, failing, and trying again?

What will you try today? How will you move forward this week? What can you do to live today fully? What do you need to explore?

---

R E C E N T / I N S P I R A T I O N

[video] Chris Burkard: The Joy of Surfing in Ice Cold Water
[video] What To Do When You Doubt Everything + Just Want To Stay In Bed
[music] Me At The Museum, You At The Wintergardens
[tv series] The Chef's Table

How To Be A Better Designer/Artist/Human

I love this quote by James Victore:

Studying, learning, practicing ANYTHING helps your design skills... except studying more design.

YEAH.

Here's the thing. Anyone can design. Anyone can take InDesign classes or buy a Wacom tablet.

What takes you from feeling like a 'designer' or 'illustrator' to ARTIST are ideas.

Passionate, devastatingly interesting ideas that spark obsession and love. Questions and sometimes even hate.

It's about what's behind the pen, the lens, the computer — real life.

Find what you care about, what really turns you on and gets you mad.

Be curious.

Feel affliction for something outside yourself, your career, your future. Fascinate. Get unruly. Be messy. Ask questions. Study. Burn it to the ground. Ask WHY, dammit.

There's something inside you and no one else, and if you let up and settle for speaking someone else's language then the world will miss out on what it is exactly you need to say and how you need to say it.

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On My Reading List

Read. Write. Repeat.

Because you may not think you need to be able to write. But you do. And you get to learn lots and go on adventures in your mind, and who wouldn't wanna do that??

What are you reading? Tell me! amanda@amandasandlin.com

On my list ::
- Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less
- The Bhagavad Gita (Classics of Indian Spirituality)
- Harold and the Purple Crayon 
- Creative, Inc.: The Ultimate Guide to Running a Successful Freelance Business

There is nothing wrong with you.

There is nothing wrong with you.
Remember that.
Remind yourself of it constantly.

Daily Rituals

I was listening to a podcast (I think it was Lewis Howes') the other day, and his guest (I think it was Jonathan Fields) talked about how daily routines/rituals are important for creatives because it frees up energy for you to create, instead of putting lots of effort into deciding what you're going to wear or eat, for example.

25 Things You Can Do At Home Without The Internet

• Read multiple books in a week [YES PLEASE + Beautiful Ruins]
• Work on your splits
• Listen to a song and draw what you hear
• Rearrange your furniture til it feels juuuust right
• Do your morning pages
• Hand wash your delicates
• Cook lots of yummy meals
• Drink wine and have conversations
• Wash your Camelback
• Take out the trash
• Take naps
• Recall your youth
• Water the plants
• Clean out your purse/wallet
• Drink coffee on the windowsill
• Make lots of to-do lists
• Cook homemade veggie soup
• Go outside and stand on the grass barefoot
• Get strong by doing lots of push-ups and sit-ups
• Write letters to the people you love
• Meditate
• Light a candle and watch it burn
• Sleep as much as you need
• Go through all your old phone notes and reminisce