Balance is NOT a myth.

I’m calling BS on the kinda trendy saying that “Balance is a myth”.

I get the idea — balance? *Yawn*. Try PASSION. Be all in when you’re in, and all out when you’re out.

I love passion. I love going all in, but..

I think clinging to the notion that ‘balance it’s a myth’ is a good excuse to be a workaholic and/or hermit. 

I know this because I used it as my default mindset when I’d be working 60-hour weeks and wasn’t ‘allowed’ to escape for weekends in the mountains with my friends.

I think balance is totally attainable, healthy, and an admirable pursuit. It may not look like 6 hours of work + 1 hour of exercise + 3 wholesome meals a day, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t prioritize the modernized version of it.

The danger in writing balance off as a myth is that you forget to prioritize it.

You have to MAKE balance happen sometimes.

When you find something you really love.. that you can eat, sleep, and breathe, you almost never want to take a break from it.

But you must! Because.. life!

Prioritizing balance might mean…

• turning on an autoresponder and escaping for a week
• clocking out early to savor summertime for one more evening
• turning off your damn phone!
• asking yourself if you even really want to grow your business
• choosing must and going all in on your dreams
• reading…. fiction

How I operate in balance

I live fully in each season and mood. When I’m feeling the flow, I go all in. But to me, balance = sanity. I literally need to block out time to NOT think about my business. Just because I’m an entrepreneur doesn’t mean I want to be in biz creation mode all the time.

Many have written about the idea that ‘work-life’ balance assumes that work and life are separate. Well, yah. They are. 

And some have even gone so far as to say that if you view them as such, you’re ‘probably not cut out for entrepreneurship’.

Bull shit.

I think about my business a looooooot. About what I’m going to write next week. How to add more value to the course I’m launching next month. What to make my next vlog about. How to use social media in a more fun and creative way.

But I can’t get over THIS idea :: I am more than all of that. We all are more than our work. Life is more than our ideas, more than our contributions, more than our stuff, more than the money.

Your work is you, but you are so much more. [tweet]

Confession: I am afraid my business is going to tank.

“Adventures don’t begin until you get into the forest. That first step in an act of faith. ”

— Mickey Hart

Fern sketches from an oxygenated afternoon in The Wellington Botanic Garden.

After a year of reading, doing morning pages, and recovering my creative self, I finally finished The Artist's Way. It's the most influential book on creativity I've ever read.

I love that the book closes with an exercise of listing any current resistance or fear. It's pretty clear that all that stuff will never fully go away.

But at this certain point in my business I am especially fearful. Some things are changing, some things are stalling, and I am worried that I won't be able to survive (not literally, but my business... art.. creativity.. you know).

Here are 3 fears I listed in the exercise ::

1. I am scared that I'll be "found out". I'm afraid I look like a fool, like I have no idea what I'm doing. Last night I had a dream that I submitted my artwork to a gallery and the curator said something like it was "defunct." I'm not sure what the word was exactly, but it basically meant... I had no idea what I was doing, and my art was super basic and not good enough, and I was a fraud.

2. I am afraid my business is going to tank. I'll admit it, I've hit a slow patch before in my business, and I'm continually nervous I'm going to burn through my savings. Funny because, I've saved up money for this very reason, but I still just want to have the cushion always. Freelance business ebbs and flows, and that's so much easier to accept when you're in full-out flow mode.

3. I am afraid my "luck" is drying up. There is this little, potent voice saying that everything that's kept me in business up until this point was a big joke, and things will soon go back to "normal" and my freelance success has been a fluke.

I know these things aren't true. But the fear is there.

Julia from The Artist's Way recommends writing down your fears and putting them in a box or jar that you call the "God jar" (or whatever terminology works for you). You name your fear, and then you give it over to God (or the Universe, or whatever). And let it go.

And then what?

Focus on what you reallyreally trulytruly want.

Because hope and vision and excitement are greater than all fear put together times 193812031.

Each of us has an inner dream that will pull us through all the scary stuff if we can be brave enough to admit it to ourselves.

And remember, you're in it. This is IT! This is life! This is what it's all about — being uncomfortable, trying new things, "failing", LIVING.

Like Mickey says, the adventure begins once you get into the forest. Friends, this is the forest. 

This is the adventure. You're in it.

And you've made it so much farther than most ever do. Keep going.

---

What's on your mind? Feel free to reach me directly at amanda@amandasandlin.com.

Notes From My First Art Class EVER

In 2015 I took my first drawing + sketching class at a local high school when I was living in Wellington, New Zealand. Here are a handful of the most impactful lessons I learned ::

1. Make it BIG. Bigger = easier! Many of these points have a theme :: Relinquish control + fear. I never bought a really BIG sketchbook until it was required for yesterday's workshop. I always made these tiny drawings in tiny notebooks that now feel like creative suffocation. (See below for my BIG pinecone!)

Give yourself room to breathe.

Don't constrict your workspace. Let your creative environment and practices be really organic and spacious and alive.

2. Put your whole arm into it. I loved this tip and think it applies to drawing and life. When you're going for something, GO FOR IT. Half-assing is for suckers.

Be purposeful. When you're putting your pencil on paper, or whatever your creative medium may be, give it your all. Use those muscles. Go BIG.

3. Let go. Release. Loosen your grip. Fellow control freaks, listen here. This was probably the biggest lesson I took away.

Hold the pencil looser. Be fluid. Sway with the breeze. Nothing has to be permanent. Make and make and make again.

Let whatever comes out of you be. Let it flow. Make mistakes and keep moving.

4. Being an artist = being able to see. You never really see an object until you have to depict it through your art, whether that's capturing it on film, describing it in words, or drawing it on paper.

Artists are aware and see what is commonly overlooked.

You probably stop and stare at objects, people, and situations that everyone else just walks by without second glance. You're highly sensitive and can feel the tension or joy or love in a room and close your eyes to burn the feeling into your memory. You're deeply sensing, highly aware, and relentlessly curious.

5. You cannot shade too dark! Keep going. When you think something is perfect, give it a rest, but come back later. Don't be afraid to really make your mark. Push through to that next level.

Don't sell yourself short. You cannot be too much of you. Show the world what you've really got. And darling, don't let anyone evereverever water you down.

The last quote came from Danielle Krysa (The Jealous Curator) on a podcast interview with artist Lisa Golightly.

These two awesome ladies were talking about the general mindset in most art schools, which is all about experimentation and "trying and trying and trying and failing and throwing it on the floor and flipping it over and trying it again and not being so precious about that final piece." 

Go make something new today. 
Make it BIG. 
Put your whole arm into it.
Loosen your grip.
Let it be totally you.
Try and try and try again.

The Dealio With Losing Followers/Friends

Honesty is my policy. So here goes.

In the past I've totally paid attention to my follower count (still do that) and who follows/unfollows me (don't do that anymore), mainly on Instagram and email.

I'm not proud and not ashamed. It just is what it is.  

That being said, it feels crappy, and I reallyreally want to break free from this junky and unhealthy habit. Some days I want to totally scrap all my social media accounts, but I know this probably wouldn't be good for business and I'd rather deal with reality than run from it.

My ego's truth :: I'm a people pleaser. And a perfectionist. An unfollow = rejection. A kick right in the heart-gut. YOU DON'T LIKE ME??? YOU HATE ME? YOU THINK I'M STUPID??

The real truth :: I just want to be loved.

And another truth, I am, and so are you. This is why it's so important to love yourself and make real friends and nurture real relationships. You need a rock-solid love foundation to not go completely insane in this crazy mixed up upside down online world we live in.

I don't know about you, but I'm so damn tired of the numbers game. I'm making a living for myself. I'm doing what I love. I'm healthy and happy. What else is there?

A few thoughts on Internet friends/followers/numbers::

1. Shift the energy from you, to them. I have to re-center regularly. My purpose is not to be cool and awesome looking and make everyone envious, but to be helpful, positive, uplifting, and real. To give back and get to know people and make new friends and share real life.

2. Never check who unfollows you. Ever. That's feeding the beast.

3. When someone you know, have had conversations with, have a relationship with... unfollows you :: You've heard it a million times, but it's not you, it's them. This is the toughest kind of 'rejection' to swallow. Don't take it personally. Move on. Nothing they are doing is because of you.

4. Random idea :: Someone needs to create a numbers-less social media platform for sharing.

5. Engage. Really care. Social media gives us an opportunity to directly reach others. Say hi! Be kind. Not in hopes that they'll follow you back, but simply to be human. Compliment other people. Share their work. It feels good!

6. Give people an out. That's what I want to do for you right now. No strings attached. I'm not going to look at who unsubscribes or unfollows after this. Want more space in your inbox? Do it.

7. Gaining followers + friends will always feel good. Who doesn't like to be liked? And that's okay. I guess it's more about not allowing these situations (or your emotions) to control you. But rather, allowing them to come and go without real meaning.

8. Face it. Recognize it. Talk about it. And it loses its power.

What if you made the rules?

I love climbing, especially bouldering. 

I learned to climb in San Francisco, where there are lots of outdoor areas, and a sweet gym just for bouldering. It's massive, and the people who create the climbs (which are called "problems") do such a great job. Every time you visit the gym they've set a whole bunch of new problems to play on. You never get bored.

Then I moved to Wellington. Wellington doesn't have a huge climbing scene.

Most of the outdoor climbing in New Zealand is couple hours' drive north or a boat south of us. There are a couple smaller gyms in the area, but the bouldering sections are pretty minimal.

There is a bouldering wall on campus at Victoria University, and Gabe and I sometimes climb there. However, there are no problems set. There are a bunch of holds on the wall, and you basically have to make up your own problems.

At first, this was a let down and super frustrating. I'd never had to create my own problems before. (HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME SET MY OWN PROBLEMS! CURSES!)

But after a couple months climbing in this "free for all" fashion, something incredible is happening. I've gotten over the disappointment/frustration, and have reached a new level of creativity and happiness in climbing.

All the rules were taken away, and I was left to make my own.

When I talked to other local climbers about what I perceived as "lack," they'd just give a little laugh and shrug, and go back to using their imaginations.

Staring blankly at a wall full of holds, I'd start creating my own problem and then ask someone, "Is this right? Does this make sense?" And they'd say, "It's right if you want it to be!" This was confusing, and then mind blowing.

With nothing to go off of but my imagination, and nothing to compare what I created to except my experience, I found a new level of creative freedom.

And I can't help but wonder, what if we approached other creativity and art in the same way?

What if you rejected to follow the same path others have taken, and created your path purely based on your own intuition and imagination?

What if instead of seeking approval from outside sources, you made choices from your gut?

What would your creative life look like if you didn't follow any "rules?" 

What would you draw, or write, or sing, if you didn't focus so much on what's popular or well-received at the moment?

Think outside the square.
Do what you like.
Don't take it too seriously.
Write your own rules.
Turn 'lack' into opportunity.
Pave a new path.