I choose miracles.


And The #atwildwoman Adventure is off to a FLYING start!

...straight to the mechanic, that is.

I've only been a van owner for two weeks and already have LOTS of advice for anyone considering life on the road. A few basic tips:

  1. Save more money than you could even imagine you might POSSIBLY need.
  2. If you buy an old van, be ready to put $1-2K into repairs upfront for it to be safe + reliable.
  3. Get a mechanic to look at the van BEFORE you buy it. (Doh.)
  4. Do your research. Check for vehicles with solid reviews on sites Kelly Blue Book + Edmunds.

But I do have a pretty neat story that has come out of this massive road block sitting right smack dab in the middle of the #atwildwoman starting line.

I'm going to be honest. Business has been slooow the past couple months. I'm sure a lot of that is because I've been moving, visiting family, and flying up the country for a family emergency, so I haven't been able to focus all my time on work.

Still, with all the bills adding up, not a lot of money coming in, and plowing through savings.. one hits a breaking point.

The breaking point was hit today.

The auto shop called about the van. Again. And told me I needed a new distributor, which would cost an additional $500 on top of the $1700 from all the engine stuff last week.

She could sense the rising tears in my voice and reassured me, "It's really a good van. This is just the way it goes with old cars. You buy someone else's problems. Other than these things, it's in really good condition."

I appreciated her positivity, but as soon as we hung up I BURST into flames, feeling like my chest was literally opening up. I stared at the ceiling, and that's when the fire in my lungs poured out as profanities that I spouted across the room, my face flushed and dripping with hot tears.

"F****** REALLY, UNIVERSE???? REALLY? This is what happens? WHY? I've been showing up EVERY SINGLE DAY fully to live this life, to do this work. I'm risking it all. I show up. I put myself out there. AND WHERE ARE YOU? It's your turn. It's your f****** turn, Universe. SHOW THE F*** UP."

I am aware this was not my finest moment.

Oh, and, apologies, Universe.

But the energy was so real and raw, and it pulsed through my body in this new way, not of fear, or misery, or even anger, but more of a BRING IT ON, LET'S FREAKING DO THIS, UNIVERSE. IT'S GO TIME.

That happened at 11:36 a.m. EST today. As I'm about to sleep at 12:51 a.m. the next day, I've had four potential clients approach me, three people who want custom #atwildwoman portraits done, and two additional print orders for tomorrow. 

One might call it coincidence, or luck, or whatever. I call it a miracle, because I have to. It's like Albert Einstein (supposedly) once said:

There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.

I choose miracles.