Honesty is my policy. So here goes.

In the past I've totally paid attention to my follower count (still do that) and who follows/unfollows me (don't do that anymore), mainly on Instagram and email.

I'm not proud and not ashamed. It just is what it is.  

That being said, it feels crappy, and I reallyreally want to break free from this junky and unhealthy habit. Some days I want to totally scrap all my social media accounts, but I know this probably wouldn't be good for business and I'd rather deal with reality than run from it.

My ego's truth :: I'm a people pleaser. And a perfectionist. An unfollow = rejection. A kick right in the heart-gut. YOU DON'T LIKE ME??? YOU HATE ME? YOU THINK I'M STUPID??

The real truth :: I just want to be loved.

And another truth, I am, and so are you. This is why it's so important to love yourself and make real friends and nurture real relationships. You need a rock-solid love foundation to not go completely insane in this crazy mixed up upside down online world we live in.

I don't know about you, but I'm so damn tired of the numbers game. I'm making a living for myself. I'm doing what I love. I'm healthy and happy. What else is there?

A few thoughts on Internet friends/followers/numbers::

1. Shift the energy from you, to them. I have to re-center regularly. My purpose is not to be cool and awesome looking and make everyone envious, but to be helpful, positive, uplifting, and real. To give back and get to know people and make new friends and share real life.

2. Never check who unfollows you. Ever. That's feeding the beast.

3. When someone you know, have had conversations with, have a relationship with... unfollows you :: You've heard it a million times, but it's not you, it's them. This is the toughest kind of 'rejection' to swallow. Don't take it personally. Move on. Nothing they are doing is because of you.

4. Random idea :: Someone needs to create a numbers-less social media platform for sharing.

5. Engage. Really care. Social media gives us an opportunity to directly reach others. Say hi! Be kind. Not in hopes that they'll follow you back, but simply to be human. Compliment other people. Share their work. It feels good!

6. Give people an out. That's what I want to do for you right now. No strings attached. I'm not going to look at who unsubscribes or unfollows after this. Want more space in your inbox? Do it.

7. Gaining followers + friends will always feel good. Who doesn't like to be liked? And that's okay. I guess it's more about not allowing these situations (or your emotions) to control you. But rather, allowing them to come and go without real meaning.

8. Face it. Recognize it. Talk about it. And it loses its power.