“Adventures don’t begin until you get into the forest. That first step in an act of faith. ”
Fern sketches from an oxygenated afternoon in The Wellington Botanic Garden.
After a year of reading, doing morning pages, and recovering my creative self, I finally finished The Artist's Way. It's the most influential book on creativity I've ever read.
I love that the book closes with an exercise of listing any current resistance or fear. It's pretty clear that all that stuff will never fully go away.
But at this certain point in my business I am especially fearful. Some things are changing, some things are stalling, and I am worried that I won't be able to survive (not literally, but my business... art.. creativity.. you know).
Here are 3 fears I listed in the exercise ::
1. I am scared that I'll be "found out". I'm afraid I look like a fool, like I have no idea what I'm doing. Last night I had a dream that I submitted my artwork to a gallery and the curator said something like it was "defunct." I'm not sure what the word was exactly, but it basically meant... I had no idea what I was doing, and my art was super basic and not good enough, and I was a fraud.
2. I am afraid my business is going to tank. I'll admit it, I've hit a slow patch before in my business, and I'm continually nervous I'm going to burn through my savings. Funny because, I've saved up money for this very reason, but I still just want to have the cushion always. Freelance business ebbs and flows, and that's so much easier to accept when you're in full-out flow mode.
3. I am afraid my "luck" is drying up. There is this little, potent voice saying that everything that's kept me in business up until this point was a big joke, and things will soon go back to "normal" and my freelance success has been a fluke.
I know these things aren't true. But the fear is there.
Julia from The Artist's Way recommends writing down your fears and putting them in a box or jar that you call the "God jar" (or whatever terminology works for you). You name your fear, and then you give it over to God (or the Universe, or whatever). And let it go.
And then what?
Focus on what you reallyreally trulytruly want.
Because hope and vision and excitement are greater than all fear put together times 193812031.
Each of us has an inner dream that will pull us through all the scary stuff if we can be brave enough to admit it to ourselves.
And remember, you're in it. This is IT! This is life! This is what it's all about — being uncomfortable, trying new things, "failing", LIVING.
Like Mickey says, the adventure begins once you get into the forest. Friends, this is the forest.
This is the adventure. You're in it.
And you've made it so much farther than most ever do. Keep going.
What's on your mind? Feel free to reach me directly at amanda@amandasandlin.com.